colourfulmushh

I have learnt something about myself much more recently.  I value recognition. I look forward to hear words of praises. I want to do better. For myself at least. I deserve better.  Really.  Maybe its time that I put myself  into a new environment to grow. Where should I be looking. What direction do I want to go towards.  Why should I be below all these. Whose gonna be standing behind me. When can I get this direction. How. 

I dont want to go to the lift lobby. I just want to find something I can do to make myself feel better.

I have got both my top and bottom brace placed!  Never felt so uncomfortable in my mouth before.  But yes its so hard to eat!  I hope I eat lesser but it doesn't seem like the case.. Its ok I will work out.  I must keep it up.  To eat more 😋  Went to get a photoshoot done for Trojan today. It was raining in the morning. We manage some reflection photos at Peoples Park Complex Did some jump shots Hahah fun is always good  Liting came at about noon to join us 😊 Then Trojan was getting tired so we got drinks and chilled.  We sat at funan for awhile before we headed to next location But being too tired we decided to hunt for some desserts Off to creamery 😍 Omg their cookie so awesomely sinful  I need to 🔥 calories!!!! Cause already at Lavender, how can I not go home with bcm?! So yasssss bcm😍 Queued for thirty minutes, and did takeaway for my sis, mom, and granny Then we parted ways where I headed homeeee Granny says the bcm was ...

THIS IS DAY THREE AFTER I PULLED FOUR TEETH OUT! The teeth pulling experience was not painful.  It was just pressure applied, quite uncomfortable 😔 No sharp pain. Injections didn't hurt either hahah I was quite worried about it cause I thought it would hurt badly. Ger was like telling me how she pulled one tooth and she ate all the painkillers 😱 Auther was like, when they inject close your eyes and dont think 🤯 About the process! Cause I needed to get four teeth out, the doctor just did the injections first and the numbing spray. Definitely did numb my lips too cause after all that, he made me gargle. And I didn't know I couldn't control so the water just splashed out of the dentist sink! I was feel so sorry towards the dentist and assistant.  So he pulled my bottom teeth first. And all went well 😅 Then came my top teeth. The left side one.. it broke while he was pulling it out! So damn needed a small surgery.  He did the right side so carefully cause he says most lik...

Which one hurts more?  Guess both hurts the same.  Is insecurity a factor too?  Tried building my walls as thick and high The state I end up in is just trusting people How can I just not have any good feelings for people?  Saying goes: Treat others like how you want to be treated But honestly people will just not do the same?  So why should I?  Hurt is pain.  Something I hate to feel.  Hate myself for this.  Please stop expecting. Please stop trusting people so easily.  ❤

I thought I definitely did better today. When night came, the feeling appeared again. I listened to a podcast this afternoon. Sometimes you should just cry it out. It would make you feel better. I did it.  It worked.  But. If it comes back again tomorrow.  Would it work that continously? ❤

I think I am so ded.  I need to get out of it so bad.  I hate that feeling.  With almost nothing and no direction. How can I overcome this.  Can I leave? I want to run away.  I wish it didn't happen. I hoped it was left unknown.  I guess. ❤

Hello there.  You are doing great!  Just believe in yourself.  Everything starts from loving yourself.  Without faith nothing goes on.  Please embrace the sadness  Look forward to positivity 💓